'Friends'

Hey everyone. It's almost 11 p.m. where I am on May 8th. Was just up and thinking..And got on the topic of friends who date their friends crush.

Random kinda, but it happened to me. And here is how it went.

So I liked a guy...He was my childhood crush since elementary school. We been in same classes forever.. And for all those years up until 7th grade (so for some years) I never told anyone.

However, I had made a group of friends (us four, A, J, and G). So finally I confided in A, about my one and only crush. She acts all happy for me or whatever, can't quite remember now. Then the next thing I know she is avoiding me and bring my other two good friends with her. And I'm there like DAFUQ is going on O.o Was clueless then. And utterly hurt at being completly exiled like that...I was almost in tears, but I'm not the type to show my emotions like that.

After a while I figure out what was going on, but it happened after I confronted her (was pissed for getting ignored) and the way she told me wasn't even right. She had some stank face on and everything saying how he asked her to the dance and stuff.

My initial reaction was anger. Obviously because of jealousy over him asking her. But because she betrayed me and never even thought of telling me about it before agreeing to anything with him. Shouldn't there be some sort of respect or agreement when you are dealign with such delicate matters with your BFF? However, she didn't even consider me...

And to top it off she would always get mad over the STUPIDEST  shit. Couldn't go a day without her getting upset over something I did. And if anything I wasn't always outright mean, intentinally, and i'm just being bluntly honest.

The end of the situation is that the other two (J and G) ganged up on me too. And they said they wouldn't be my friend if I didn't stop being mad at A. Pretty damn FUCKED up if you asked me. And thinking back I should of held my ground..But it's over now and for some reason I still talk to A and J. G goes to another highschool so I don't talk to her much.

TBH I'm not sure if they were ever my friends. Apparently I was just that person who just showed up whenever they mentioned how we first met anyway...And no one told me much..

But it's over now..can't change the past...And maybe I should quit talking with A (she mentions crush occasionally...7th grade dance didn't go well...and now they have some complicated almost relationship shit going on). However I just grin and talk with her...I'm not sure why..But at least going to my highschool gave me the chance to meet different awesome people :) I have friends beside them that I enjoy hanging with. I don't have many friends liek others, but I have the few that really matter and make my day happier...

Sorry. Rant, but wanted to get that off my chest...It's always nagging at me and  I try to ignore all the bad shit that happens to me (and there is a lot) but it gets difficult. If you read this thanks for reading. And if you are any people I know personally reading this. Get mad at me, pity, or whatever, but this is in the past. I want to leave it down with. Leave it here and don't bring it to school.